WELCOME

This blog follows both my personal and professional life, featuring my children, photography jobs, and of course, my love for animals. It's basically my own personal photo album combined with an information source for my clients. This site is very informal and allows me to share a little bit of my personality with you. :)

Sunday, September 26, 2010

A Bitersweet Moment

Last night was a very bittersweet evening for me. My grandmother fell. For those of you who really know me, know that my grandma is one of my very best friends. We talk on the phone every day and spend at least one day a week together. We talk about everything in our lives, from shopping and decorating to faith and religion to parenting.
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She fell hard. She was standing on a ten-foot ladder in the garage and fell from the top all the way to the concrete. She broke her femur so bad that they had to take her in for emergency surgery last night to reset it and place a pin in it and now she will be in a live-in rehabilitation center for three-eight weeks. She also had some pretty serious head trauma but they think she will be okay from it.
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My grandma is amazing. She is 77 years old and takes care of her 96 year old mother (my great grandmother) and her 75 year old brother. She also takes care of my great grandmother's 96 year old twin sister, Ella. So really I have no clue how I am going to even come close to filling my grandmother's shoes while she is down and out all the while doing everything that I am doing.
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Last night I went and took some soup to my Great-Grandma Della and my Uncle Dallas for dinner. Afterwards, I went over to the rest home my Great-Great-Aunt Ella is at and brought her the shower chair she needed and also to tell her of my grandmother's fall - I don't think I was prepared for the visit...at all.
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I walked in the door and the told the nurse that I was there to see my Aunt Ella and that my grandmother had fallen so she wouldn't be visiting every day like she does and he says "Okay, I have to warn you, Ella hasn't gotten out of bed for a few days."
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We walked together to my Aunt's room and opened the door only to see her frail little body lying in the bed. My heart was already breaking at the sight of her. I had gone to visit her in July and she was so much more full of life (and weight). Of course, at that moment, I felt a lot of guilt for not taking the time out of my busy, busy life to visit her more. She was in a silk white nighty with lace and her bones were protuding from her skin everywhere. She couldn't have weighed more then 90 lbs.
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I sat down on the queen size bed beside her - where there was plenty of room for me. I held her hand and told her that my grandma had fallen and wouldn't be in to see her for some time. She started sobbing and said "No, not my Carol" I laid down beside her, while stroking her white hair and wrapped my arms around her frail little body and we just cried together. I am so truly grateful that I was able to share that with her instead of just picking up the phone and telling the nurses to tell her.
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I want to share my thoughts about everything that has been going on in my life lately. I know God has been telling me to cherish life, to cherish my relationships with all of those close to me and embrace every moment life has to offer. We may never know when our lives might be cut short. It has been so wonderful these past weeks because I have stopped to enjoy the beauty a lot more than I used to and have cherished even the not so good moments and tried to find lessons in them. I have really been trying to embrace life's challenges so that I can learn something wonderful from them and become a better person from them - instead of filling my life with bitterness from those challenges. I am asking you to do the same. I decided to be a photographer not because I loved the moments that I could capture in camera, but it taught me to find beauty in everything even the things some people don't find beautiful at all. What an amazing thing I am able to do all the time - to stop and smell the roses.
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Cherish life and all it has to offer. Its only when we truly know and understand that we have a limited time on earth - and that we have no way of knowing when our time is up - that we will begin to live each day to the fullest as if it was the only one we had.

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